Update:

I am so beyond happy right now! I am so grateful right now! I cannot even describe the feelings I am feeling right now! ❤

Memo To Self:

I know you wish to go off with Odin every single night to another world, but c’mon now, myself! You are completely draining yourself this way, astral traveling instead of sleeping nightly, it has been over a full week in a row of you doing this. Yes, I understand you wish to learn from Odin, know of Odin more by spending time with him, but at least give this a break for one night for complete sleep? I get that I may be “engaged” to Odin, but my spiritual self needs to “stay in my body and stop choosing to leave my body to go off Else Where.”-It’s not even Odin doing this, it’s myself choosing to leave every night with him.

I need to lay off of astral travel, if I can for a while, or my body is going to dislike me greatly with my work schedule and then staying up all night Else Where.

My Experience as a Godspouse: Part 3 Hades

I never knew what exactly to call it? Hades and I, our relationship? I kept this to my friend and I on a journal together. Only rare mortals knew, I guess this was allright.

Falling in love with Hades was both hard and easy, all at the same time. I found Hades way before I found my ex-fiance. I wasn’t certain how to go about dating a mortal and being married to a God, but starting all over again through dating as well? I asked my close friend, whom I shared this journal with, he agreed. I should try both; explaining, “Gods do this all of the time. Take your own personal time out and accept this, and walk on.”

I did exactly what my friend told me to try. I kept Hades to my astral time outside my body and being engaged with the mortal inside my body. It worked out pretty well…until Hades got quite a bit jealous…

I wish to say it was small, but it seemed pretty big at the time. But, if I thought of Hades as the “jealous Nathan,” that became pretty easy to understand! Nathan always seemed to be jealous, so Hades this way, personally, was easy for me to see and understand.

So, I tried staying away from mortals, like myself, romantically.
That…is harder than you think…
Mortals just randomly pop up out of no where, complimenting me, asking me how my day’s going, and then asking I must be taken. I stuck with, “No, I’m not,” just so no one will believe what they see. Really, it…it’s complicated when I do this, especially when that mortal keeps pursuing me with gifts, after gifts, after gifts! This made Hades stare, emotionless at all these gifts in my arms, as I sternly tell him, “Do not say a word about this!” Hades just raised his eyebrows but never said a word, giving me enough space to set the gifts down from my “crusher.” (“Crusher,” someone whom has a crush on you!)

I’ve always had these while dating Nathan while growing up; rarely will I try to date someone else.

Hades I love. I still do. We have so many memories together. Where he just had me get up and start to dance with me, even long after the music stopped.
Hades’ dates are NOT simple dates! Haha! Not at all!

I asked Hades for a simple date, I couldn’t just “hop back into something so easily,” and I didn’t care if Hades is Nathan or not. I wanted things to start back over. Slowing things a little down for myself, mentally.

I asked Hades for a date, so he asked me, what exactly do I call a date? So, I gave him simple options such as, a dinner, just sitting at a dinner, talking alone together, watching a movie and snuggling, or simple stuff? Like going out, just any where.

So!
First date with Hades: a dinner. He made the dinner outdoors, on the outskirts of a wild forest beyond us, candles of every shape and form every-where. It wasn’t even a small table, it was a big-butt, elegant dark table. It wasn’t even a small dinner. It was a feast! It was a feast in my name, or so Hades welcomed me. When I saw this gorgeous picture, I was in way over my head here! I was immobilized by shock.

I thought to myself, This isn’t simple…not for a mortal like myself.

Hades had to take me to the table, having me sit at one end, and I was so uncomfortable for a couple moments. He noticed something was “a-miss.” Hades asked me, what was wrong? I told him, I meant something small…? Like maybe a small table, I didn’t know!? I’m used to simple Mortal Dates! Not Godly Dates… Haha!

Saying that, Hades simply stood on our first date, and suddenly the table started to race, shrinking toward my direction, as Hades picked up, easily his throne-like seat, striding down easily to me, as the food disappeared off the table to make room for a small square, elegant dark table before myself. Hades came to the other end, setting his throne-like large chair down, and easily sitting. But then, haha, there was a chandelier in the way, so he easily moved this aside. Asking me on our date, if this was allright?

I quietly told him, he still is sort of far away…

So, he stood up again, bringing the chair to the corner next to me, setting it down, and sitting with a smile. That was very close! Haha.
I told Hades, I felt like he may be wasting food, for I don’t have my body with me. Hades smiled to this, reminding me, recalling my words, I wished for a dinner, “under the stars…” He said the last part in a dreamy way. I didn’t remember saying that part out loud, but I remember daydreaming thinking about it earlier that year, months and months ago from that first date with Hades.

“You, sir, have stolen my dreams away,” I told Hades truthfully.
Hades smiled to this, telling me, while caressing my cheek that night, “Some dreams are meant to be stolen.”
It was dreamy. Too dreamy.
I broke this by looking up. I was amazed to see the night sky above. Hades asked if we wish to see the stars together? “Can we?” Was my excited reply.
Hades gave me his hand to take, he helped me easily out of my seat, as the seats disappeared. He somehow got the table cloth off of the table; he commented this was why he kept the table cloth on there. We walked a ways, before he stopped us, setting the table cloth down like an elegant blanket. I remember ending our first date learning of the stars we saw, the stories, and a secret of Hades’ Underworld.

It was a nice date. So, we continued onto a second one, his choice, which…didn’t end as good as the first. Third date was mine. We went out to Las Vegas, to the Caesar Palace, where I freaked out the lady that was cleaning the suite afterward, haha. It was just my shoe, come now! Still freaked her out. We went to Hawaii. Another date we went out to France. I’ve never seen the Eiffel Tower, then to the Moulin Rouge, where I curiously looked around, I couldn’t wait for the first show to start, so we left.

Another date, this was Hades’ turn, he took me out to a mountain. I’m not certain which mountain this was, but it was beautiful. He asked me to shut my eyes, out of trust and a good surprise, I did so. Hades took my hand, guiding me and aiding me through the trees, before I felt a lot of wind? My eyes were still shut as he moved me with him. Hades wrapped his arms around me, asking me to take small steps forward without opening my eyes. I did so, curiously wondering?

When I could open my eyes, I was beyond stunned at the unique, one of a kind view. There were mountains before us, but the sun was rising slowly passed these, casting, over time, beautiful dancing colors across the sky all around us. I have no idea how long we stood there for, but I will never forget this surprise.

Another surprise Hades gave me totally overwhelmed me! Hades had me shut my eyes, as he played with my shoulders and neck. I felt something in front of my upper chest resting there. Hades told me, with my eyes still shut, he has searched every where for a gem, maybe a stone, maybe a crystal that can show my beauty through his eyes, but Hades told me, he could not find one; Hades told me, he had to make this, it took him some time to make this for me, so Hades hoped I will like this gift…

Hades asked me to open my eyes, and I did. Curiously, I felt something still gently on my upper chest, and I saw something I’ve never seen anything like this before? It wasn’t a stone, it wasn’t a crystal, it was not a gem. It is something else. I was so overwhelmed by this gift! Hades told me, I am the only one whom can remove this jewel by choice. Same goes for the ring Hades re-proposed to me, again (by one knee, which threw myself completely off, for I could never ever picture Hades doing such a thing, but Hades did).

I didn’t need anymore dates to know how much love Hades shows for me. Even when I have no idea what to get for my love, Hades, I ask him. Hades answers with, “What ever makes you the happiest.” He only accepts, so far to my knowledge, what ever makes me happy. So, later, when I got an altar, I got only what makes me happy for Hades, and if Hades knows I am happy, he approves of this.

I’ve fallen in love with Hades all over again…

When something called, Astral Pregnancy came along for my life, I was a bit baffled by this concept? I trust Hades, so I decided in agreement with him for this. I stayed in the Underworld while outside my body with Hades with my first astral pregnancy.

Then came Loki.

To be continued…

Godspouse events started!

The celebrations started last night and continue today, tonight, into tomorrow, and Sunday as well!

Loki asked me, I hope I like dancing as much as I said I did, ’cause he is going to keep me dancing and busy these next days and nights.

I met a number of Gods and Goddesses last night, but when I read one of their minds about something, before I could open my mouth to curiously ask anyone anything, I was being being rushed away and busy dancing once more with Loki. When the dance slowed last night, I looked at Loki, I wanted to ask him something, but I decided maybe these next several nights is not worth asking certain curious questions. But, Loki was actually the first to start bringing up questions, he thinks it is best to be out, open and clear with several things, and I smiled to him being honest there.

He asked me, why did I love to dance so much?

I asked him in return, “Why do you like fire so much?”

Loki laughed about my response, it means I was not going to answer him right away as he was not going to answer me in return right away. Which is fine by the both of us. ♥

Loki reminded me, why I was there, why there is a celebration lasts for days and nights, the celebration is for us, our marriage, for me becoming Spouse to him. I know I will not forget this. ♥

I had a fantastic night, last night. Loki is waiting to pull me back out immediately tonight, but I have to work inside my body, and I told Loki, “Help me close faster and I can leave faster…”

Loki’s reply, “Done.”

Well, tonight is going to be fun! ♥

Early Celebration with Loki

Loki asked me, if I will like an early celebration with him tonight? Of course, I do not mind! I just curiously wondered on the occasion, but all he said was, “Early start to the festivities ahead.” This made me even more curious just yet!

Then tonight, I feel as though I harmed myself, bodily. Loki did “tell me so,” but he allowed me to make my own choices, though he did distinctly warn me about this, getting sick to my stomach. Worse, it’s the blood I cannot stand coming from myself…

Loki told me, in assurance, he can heal me, and he has been. So far, I feel less soreness, less pain, hopefully soon, no more blood-unless he already stopped this immediately.

It’s odd to admit this. I only share this because I thought Haides was the only one who can do this for me…yet, here’s Loki, with me now, healing me as time passes, encouraging me to stay calm as he heals my body. Then Loki told me, that he cares for me, more than how he can ever describe his love for me. Loki told me that, spoken clearly in truth here, he cares for me just as Haides cares for me, and I’ve been with Haides from the beginning of Time started. But, Loki told me, he just met me in this life, that we have never ran into each other before this one, and somehow, I cannot find myself pulling away at all no longer from him.

Loki made a comment a night or so ago, while I was inside my body, about how we are like the Scorpion and the Spider. I had no idea where he was coming from with this comment, it sounded romantic, but it also sounded wisdomic? Scorpions, I was told by two close friends of mine, remind them of Fire, in which Loki reminds them of Fire as well, and in my past, Spiders have always been “my thing.” No idea exactly just yet over why Spiders? Odd creature to grasp right there to even begin with. But, somehow, Spiders were in my past, and they still are attracted toward me…they just suddenly stop what they are doing, coming straight toward me, like becoming intensely attracted toward me. Once, I placed my foot down inside my closed off garage and a spider accidentally ran into my foot, backed away, looked up at me, like as though the spider was communicating to me, and I told this spider, “Pardon me!” I stood still and the spider looked back down at my foot, back up to me, in knowing and, minding this spider’s own business, easily went around my foot, looked back at me, curiously or knowingly, and then turned back and went on it’s way underneath the car, as I cautiously this time took another step forward.

Interesting, I thought to myself that night, and I still find that event interesting to this day. I also end up with spiders on me in my sleep, which I accidentally turn over in my sleep and accidentally squish them, but still. I used to have Spiders crawl onto my hand, easily, stay still as I move them back outside, in which they do not wish to leave my hand right away, but looking from me, to the grass blade, me to the grass blade, then back at me again, going up my arm, but then, like as though the spider is hesitating, stopping and turning back to the grass blade and leaving my arm, but then looking back to me, watching me like as though fascinated by me now, haha. How very interesting…

Well, I better follow Loki’s concerns and healing instructions and follow through. I am grateful to him, beyond my words can ever express. ♥

Soon-to-be Godspouse with Loki!

I am now getting married to Loki by the end of this month, but before and after this marriage, Loki let me know there’s going to be Celebrations, for days and nights, which starts this Thursday, tomorrow-my body’s Birthday. ♥

Oh wow. He planned everything out beforehand and even let me join in so I will know what to expect next. How sweet of him to remember my two reactions I had with Haides and my two marriages with Haides, of having panic attacks inside my body. Loki told me, he does not wish for me to have one of those or it will not help for the celebrations of ours. ♥

Loki told me all of this as we were dancing. ♥

In Asgard

I had no idea what exactly these celebrations will be like, so Loki took me to Asgard to show me a celebration still happening. I wonder whom’s wedding that is for? I wasn’t certain, but it looked like all of Asgard was there for that marriage celebration. Loki showed me Odin, declaring he is beautiful, which Odin is…when I woke, he looked like…someone who was misplaced with wardrobe and taking out of the Lord of the Rings series of Elves and placed into Asgard on a throne, he just sat down on the throne and I looked to Loki and told him, “You are right. I believe you.” Loki smiled to this as he took me out to dance with the others.

I love dancing! Inside and outside my body!

I asked him about our marriage, just out of curiosity. Loki told me, by the end of this month. Well, since he is speaking of a celebration that lasts days and nights before and after the marriage, I asked him, when does he know that will start. “Tomorrow,” was his reply.

Me: It starts tomorrow? Not tonight?

Loki: No, tomorrow. The celebration will start tomorrow.

Me: But…that’s my body’s Birthday?

Loki: Even more better reason to celebrate than the one we already have is enough to last days and nights.

I had to smile with him on that one. I wondered who’s wedding that was, since I was at the celebration, I didn’t find out whom, but when Loki announced the celebration to everyone, I was in surprise to his announcement. Suddenly out of no where came the bride, who was beyond beautiful in her dress, hugging me tightly; she was beyond excited for me, she said, I was just like her, marrying a God as well. I wasn’t going to correct her, for it is her celebration and her big day, so I just smiled back. She was so excited for me, but hiddenly, secretly, she was sort of nervous for later that next night.

Loki danced me out again, and I love dancing with him! He is a great dancer, and he told me, he was thinking of making me wear white.

I shrugged and told him, I wasn’t in white at the weddings I were in…
Loki: “How many times were you married to Haides again? How many times have you probably wore white to those marriages of yours? You seem to like white, you are wearing white right now.”

Me: “I still don’t understand why I wore blue to both of those marriages. My eyes are not blue, are they?”

Loki, smiling to this, as he twirled me real fast, and kept dancing with me: “No, they are not. Blue stands for loyalty, beautiful color as well; all the royals in the past wore blue to their banquets and celebrations. You will be fine in white once more. It doesn’t seem to harm you wearing a white dress now, I highly doubt it will harm you later at our marriage then as well! Different dress as always for you.”

Too true, I always have new dresses and I was wearing a whitish dress right then. Loki made it an amazing time for me. ♥

So, I am having a days and nights celebration starting this Thursday, tomorrow and getting married with Loki, becoming a Godspouse. ♥

Loki & the Engagement

As you can guess, I am engaged with Loki; he has been asking me to marry him, to become a Godspouse of his. I don’t quite say, “No,” but I also don’t quite say, “Yes” either.

We discussed this yesterday, about the wedding. Loki told me, when ever I “desire” this, it will happen. I remember sitting back and trying to weigh out my emotions right then… How was I feeling? I was trying to remember what Desire even feels like? Then I thought too much on it, which just led to amusement on his end.

Then Loki brought it up one more time, but he asked one thing of me, to get to know him more.

I like this answer-actually, I love it. Makes everything seem taken slow-paced, calm, and in the mean time, I get to read a ton of a lot of Norse Mythology.

I know, I know, I’ve been avoiding Norse Mythology over the other Mythologies for my own personal reasons; I dated a man in the past, inside my body, who loves Norse. The man I dated basically breathed off of Norse religion and myth. So, I kept hearing the things he told me about the myths, but none of it ever stayed, I was too busy being nervous around him. But, I do remember his reaction when he learned I am not into fighting like he is, which all the other women he dated were into fighting back, me though…he learned, I only fight back out of defense more than offense. Which he thought was curious about myself here; I felt at a point a slight “Guinea Pig” for him, where he would just suddenly want to trip me, but I avoiding his foot by stepping over his foot, loosing him once more, since I could read his mind and using wisdom know his next moves before he made it, but sometimes, that man that I dated would throw me off completely-it was the times he never once thought the thought of his next move, like pinning me against the wall outside, pinning me in bed. I was thrown off when ever he didn’t think of his next move to make! Then he learned I am more of a lover than a warrior, he sighed sadly to this, and I just shook my head at him. If it was going to be a problem, then there is a problem with his end by far… It was and wasn’t at the same time. And, unfortunately, that’s how we branched off from there.

Since then I never once wanted to know or speak of Norse Mythology or religion until just recently. It’s stupid, I know of this. Trust me, I cover my face toward this. Since I remember asking him in confusion, “Why do you believe you have to die fighting whilst you keep on getting in trouble with the police for fighting so often? Shouldn’t you cool it then fight when you need to? :?” That was my date’s religion and personal belief, whilst mine has always been Love.

So, getting passed this and around this, going off to read very soon about Loki and Thor as well. I might as well be better off reading everything. Only this time I don’t have someone “exactly” shadowing me while I read all of this like I had someone shadowing me while reading through Greek and Roman Mythology.

Nathan.

He was, in a sense, my teacher, or that’s what others saw when they saw Nathan and I together, him teaching me something else, shadowing me when I read through information.

Then someone last night made a remark about how I fell in love with the teacher, vice versa happened, it was humor, of course, but it gave me wild and strange dreams when I fell asleep. Not too cool with the dreams there, hah.

So, reading through this Mythology very soon is going to be interesting enough all by it’s self. But, if Loki wants me to give this a try, I might as well give it a go…

Why?

Why are things so much better going for me outside my body than they are inside my body?

I am engaged, I am married, I have a crush on another as well; I can sleep around, share energies, emotions, etc. with others without one consequence…but inside my body, I am (purposely) single, I am not engaged no longer (not for the last 3 years), and if I sleep with 1 man, I have tons of consequences for sharing emotions, energies and all of this, I cannot do the same as I do outside my body; my body instantly reacts into bladder infections off the bat when I sleep with just one man, so I never sleep with anyone alive and mortal.

It just figures…

I cannot quite remember last night?

I don’t quite too well remember last night, at least, not inside my body?

I think I am just sore from yesterday’s wedding day? I’m not entirely too sure? It’s mainly around my chest area and upper back area? I don’t understand this either? My nipples are swollen as well? How can a bra do this to you?

I remember saying inside my body, to my love, Haides, I wished to go home now…

“Home” for me is the Underworld. I’m not sure what all happened there or anything? I remember…well, I also remember the next second being with Loki else where, not in the Underworld, kissing him and then, that’s where my memory fades…?

Hm. I guess I need meditating tonight after work!